In the last blog post, we went over what financial infidelity is.

Financial infidelity can damage a relationship, just like physically cheating can. When a couple deals with financial infidelities, it can end up tearing a huge rift in the fabric of their bond. It’s not that they don’t want to move forward and heal—they just don’t know how to.

Infidelity of any kind has the power to end any marriage or relationship. There is a reason why they say finances are the number one reason why a couple ends up arguing. But that doesn’t mean it has to be that way. It’s a challenge, for sure. It will take work on both partners’ parts to find ways past it. But it is absolutely possible to move on from financial infidelity. Here are a few ways on how a couple can begin to heal.

Tips For Moving On From Financial Infidelity

1. Get Honest With Each Other

Financial infidelity begins when secrets about money or finances are kept away from your partner. It sounds obvious, but healing can’t begin if you aren’t being honest about the discretions. It’s time to open up to one another.

Is it going to be hard for the partner hiding secrets about money to open up about it? Absolutely. And will it be just as hard for the other partner to hear why they are keeping secrets? Without a doubt. But the truth can be hard and ugly. It doesn’t do the relationship any good if financial infidelity is discovered and secrets about the why behind it are still being kept.

2. Be Understanding

It can be hard when one partner is in a lot of debt because of bills, shopping habits, or loans. Debt isn’t only a financial burden; it comes with guilt and shame as well. It is challenging for someone to admit that they haven’t always been smart with money. Or that life choices or unexpected expenses brought them to that place. Learning where the other is at regarding income and debt is important.

But you should never shame or ridicule your partner for their financial situation. Making them feel bad for these things won’t change the fact that they exist. Just be understanding with one another. You can’t change the past, but you can make the future better for the both of you.

3. Budget Together

Help each other budget. You don’t have to have a joint bank account to budget as a couple. You can have separate accounts while still looking at where each income goes. Look at your income, bills, and debts together, then make game plans. And help each other stick to the game plan.

A fun tip for couples to try is putting a small amount of cash in an envelope at the start of the month. At the end of the month, use these funds to go on a date together. It will help you both feel motivated to stick to the game plan when you know there will be a fun date or outing at the end of the month.

Sometimes, no matter how hard you try, moving past infidelity can be a mountain that you just can’t tread. There is nothing wrong with looking at your current situation and admitting that you need some outside perspective. In fact, it’s really brave when a couple can come to this decision.

Let’s connect soon so I can help you learn how couples counseling can help with financial infidelity. I am here to support you.